Ten Principles to Guide You
It’s easy to feel lost and confused when faced with a fresh challenge in life. In working with hundreds of people over the years, I have found that these ten principles apply to a wide array of problems and provide an extremely useful way of seeing things and figuring out what to do next.
1. Live a life of joy more than obligation.
Find a routine that leaves you busier with things you want to do than things you feel you have to do.
2. Learn to control your focus perhaps through meditation.
Realize you don’t have to stay focused on a problem in your
life or a pain in your body. You can redirect your focus onto your breath, or onto things that are going well in your life.
3. See anything imperfect as a glass 3/4 full
For example: your family, your home, your job, your significant other, or your body.
Don’t ignore what’s lacking but spend more time focused on what is there and be grateful for it.
4. See yourself as a glass 3/4 full
By focusing mostly on your strengths and achievements, while finding ways to manage your weaknesses or even turn them into strengths. Remember it’s about progress not perfection.
5. Know yourself.
Learn how to tune in to those powerful inner feelings that we are not always aware of and that may seem childlike or animalistic. We do not get to choose our feelings; we discover them inside us. But they are what gives your life color and makes you unique.
6. Work your feelings so they don’t work you.
Don’t try to accept the easy feelings and ignore the difficult ones, or you may end up numb, with both of them boiling below the surface. Work with both and you’ll tap an unending source of energy and sensitivity.
7. Neither deny nor dwell on problems.
Learn from these challenges and handle them with the Serenity Prayer:
God, grant me
serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.
8. Have the courage to change what you can, by finding and implementing solutions.
Make choices aligned with your deepest feelings. Then, explore and show your enthusiasm. It will attract people and improve outcomes. Don’t be afraid of what you want. Take baby
steps toward those bigger goals.
9. Attain the serenity to accept the challenges that you cannot change by finding your own mix of healthy coping strategies.
Most importantly find the silver lining to the cloud that has settled over you–and ultimately see your new situation as . . . a glass 3/4 full. Talking to friends, taking care of a dog, exercise, and sunlight are also important.
Experiment and see what works for you.
10. Have the wisdom to know what you need to accept and what you can change for the better.
Learn from your experience and that of others. Look things up and get help if you need to.
Then, when it comes to a tough choice about, say, a job or relationship, you’ll have the wisdom to know whether to hold fast or seek a change for the better.
When the next big challenge comes your way, I hope that you find these ten principles to be as comforting and clarifying as my patients have. . . May they be a guiding light that helps you rise to the occasion and live life to the fullest!
Dr. Adam
