Psychotherapist / Psychiatrist
1829 11th St., Unit #3, Santa Monica, CA 90404

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How Adult Therapy Supports Emotional Wellness in a Busy City

Living in a busy city like Los Angeles can feel energizing and draining at the same time. There’s movement everywhere. People are building careers, relationships, families, and identities, often all at once. From the outside, it can look like everyone is managing just fine. On the inside, many adults feel tense, overwhelmed, or quietly exhausted. This is often where adult therapy in Los Angeles becomes relevant. I hear this from people who come into therapy every day. They’re functioning. They’re responsible. They show up. But something doesn’t feel settled. Their nervous system never fully relaxes. Their thoughts keep running long after the day ends. Emotional wellness starts to feel like something they’re chasing but can’t quite reach. Adult therapy exists

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Why Choosing an LGBTQ-Friendly Therapist in Los Angeles Matters

Los Angeles is known for openness, creativity, and diversity. It’s a city where people come to live more honestly, express themselves more fully, and find community.  But even in a place that celebrates difference, many LGBTQ+ people still carry stress, fear, and emotional weight that others may never see. I hear it often in my work:“I live in LA, but I still don’t feel fully safe being myself.”“I’m accepted in some spaces, but not everywhere.”“I don’t want to explain my identity in therapy. I just want help.” That’s where choosing an LGBTQ-friendly therapist matters. Therapy is meant to be a space where you can show up as you are. Not a place where you need to educate, defend, or justify

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When to See a Psychiatrist in Santa Monica: Signs, Symptoms & Support Options

Some people aren’t sure when it’s time to reach out to a psychiatrist. They’re not in crisis. They’re still showing up for work, taking care of kids, answering emails.  But something feels harder than it should. They’re tired more often. They’re snapping at people. They’re stuck in their head, spinning the same thoughts on a loop. Others are clear something’s wrong but don’t know where to start. Is it stress? Burnout? Depression? Is therapy enough? Would medication even help? If you’re asking yourself these kinds of questions, you can talk to a psychiatrist even if you’re not sure what the issue is.  A psychiatric evaluation is often the first step in understanding what you’re dealing with, whether it’s related to

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How a Mental Health Therapist in LA Helps with Stress, Anxiety & Depression

Life in Los Angeles is fast. Opportunities are big. Dreams feel close. But beneath that energy, stress, anxiety, and depression often grow quietly. Many people manage jobs, family, relationships, and finances while carrying internal pressure that never truly goes away. And that’s where a mental health therapist matters. I work with people every day who tell me: “I feel like I’m holding it together, but not really.” That feeling is real. Stress can wear someone down slowly. Anxiety can take over without clear cause. Depression can dull interest in life and connection. These states aren’t weaknesses. They are experiences that deserve understanding and care. A mental health therapist LA provides support that is thoughtful, grounded, and practical. Therapy isn’t about

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Anxiety Therapy in Los Angeles: Techniques That Bring Relief

Sometimes it shows up as tightness in your chest. Other times, it’s racing thoughts, a restless mind, or a feeling that something is wrong, even when you can’t name what it is. I’ve had people sit down in my office and say, “I don’t know why I feel this way, but I can’t shut it off.” That’s anxiety. It doesn’t always look dramatic. You can be high-functioning and still feel like you’re carrying an invisible weight. In a city like Los Angeles, where everything moves fast, and appearances matter, it’s easy to hide anxiety behind a busy schedule or a calm face. Anxiety is common, treatable, and real. And the good news is, therapy helps. When people come to me

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Signs of Depression & When to Seek Therapy in Los Angeles

I have seen depression in many forms. Some people tell me they feel “off,” others know something is wrong but cannot name it.  Depression is not weakness. It is not just a mood. It is a health concern that deserves clear recognition and thoughtful care. When you live in a big city like Los Angeles, life can seem exciting and full of possibility. But you can still struggle behind the scenes. You might smile in social settings and yet feel a heavy weight inside. You might be surrounded by people and still feel alone. That experience is real. What you feel matters. In my work providing depression therapy Los Angeles individuals often ask if what they are experiencing is “just

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How Relationship Therapy Helps Couples Navigate Life Transitions

Life is full of change. Some of it is planned. Some of it isn’t.  And even the changes we look forward to, moving in together, getting married, and having a child, can stir up tension we didn’t expect. In my work with couples, I often see how transitions challenge even the strongest relationships. You’re trying to adjust to new routines, new roles, new stressors and all of it while trying to stay connected as partners. It’s not always easy. In fact, it’s normal for couples to hit rough patches during these times. That’s where relationship therapy becomes useful not as a last resort, but as a practical tool for navigating life’s messier moments together. I provide relationship therapy in Los

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Couples Therapy in Los Angeles: Strengthening Relationships Through Communication

Relationships are work.  Even the strongest ones go through phases where communication falters, patterns become entrenched, or stress from work, family, or life transitions seems to widen the distance between partners.  In a city as vibrant and demanding as Los Angeles, these pressures can feel even more intense.  Yet, many couples hesitate to get support because they don’t know where to start or worry that it means something is “wrong” with them. The truth is different. Couples therapy Los Angeles is about helping partners understand each other more deeply, communicate with clarity, and build ways of relating that feel respectful, connected, and resilient.  This kind of therapy isn’t just about solving conflict; it’s about building skills, empathy, and connection that

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How Psychotherapy and Medication Management Work Together for Better Results

It’s not always easy to know what kind of mental health support to ask for. Some people try therapy first. Others start with medication. And many wonder if doing both at once might be more than they need. But for many people, the combination of psychotherapy and medication management can offer the kind of stability, insight, and long-term improvement that either one alone might not provide. This isn’t about taking sides. Therapy and medication aren’t opposites, they’re tools. And sometimes, using them together can make each one work better. Therapy and Medication Are Not Competing Approaches Some people come into treatment thinking they need to choose therapy or meds.  But this “either/or” mindset doesn’t reflect how most people actually get

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Group Talk

The State of Mental Health Care in Los Angeles and Where to Find Support

Some people reach out for mental health care because they’re overwhelmed. Others do it because they’re exhausted and not sure why. In a city as big and complex as Los Angeles, finding the right kind of help can feel like a second full-time job. Los Angeles mental health care is in high demand, but often hard to navigate. There are thousands of providers, multiple public systems, and countless options — but also long waitlists, big gaps in access, and too many people falling through the cracks. As a psychiatrist practising in the city, I hear the same questions again and again:Where do I start?Who actually takes my insurance?Am I supposed to be in therapy, or do I need medication too?

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Consultation with the professional

How to Choose the Right Psychotherapist in Los Angeles: A Practical Guide

Looking for a psychotherapist in Los Angeles can feel overwhelming. There’s a lot of choice. Plenty of websites. Too many titles. You may not even know what question to ask first. But here’s what matters most: finding someone you can trust. Someone you feel safe with. Someone who listens to you without judgment. Therapy isn’t just about credentials or clever techniques. It’s about how you and a therapist connect. Research shows that the relationship itself, how comfortable and understood you feel, predicts how well therapy works. In a city as big and busy as Los Angeles, it’s easy to feel invisible. The right clinician won’t let you feel that way. They’ll help you understand what’s going on inside you and

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Repeating the Past

(This is a summary of a more comprehensive article in Psychology Today) Why would you repeat the past? Why would you date or marry someone just like the father or mother who was most problematic for you? It seems to happen quite often, even though it would make more sense to look for a partner with opposite traits. Though never formally studied, this phenomenon has been observed by most psychotherapists and psychiatrists and was first recognized by Sigmund Freud, who named it “repetition compulsion.” In it, you would repeat a difficult relationship or event over and over again. This includes reenacting the event itself or putting yourself in situations where it is likely to happen again. This phenomenon is also described at

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Couples Loving Each Other

Couples Loving Each Other I just finished The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, an extremely popular self-help book that has inspired couples since 1992. The idea of it is that the key to revitalization and repair of any relationship is to pay attention to how each person likes to be loved. The challenge is that we all like to be loved in different ways and that we need to learn our partner’s “love language.” Fortunately, Chapman explains that there are five basic love languages and that we can discover ours and our partners through a brief, and I think fun, online quiz.  By speaking our partner’s love language we make sure that we are giving them what they value most

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Cultivating Mindfulness

Mindfulness has emerged in the past few decades as a powerful tool to maintain our equilibrium as we deal with difficult emotions. It’s a state of active, open attention to the present, that involves observing one’s thoughts and feelings without making judgements. It is rooted in Hindu and Buddhist teachings but became more formally studied in the late 1970’s and ultimately incorporated into evidence-based mainstream mental health care in the twenty-first century. It’s a technique that most of us have to learn because it runs counter to the all-too-human tendencies to not be in the moment and to judge ourselves and our circumstances, tendencies so well portrayed in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Made Simple by Seth Gillihan that I’ve opted to share portions

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Facing Challenges

Ten Principles to Guide You It’s easy to feel lost and confused when faced with a fresh challenge in life. In working with hundreds of people over the years, I have found that these ten principles apply to a wide array of problems and provide an extremely useful way of seeing things and figuring out what to do next.   1. Live a life of joy more than obligation.Find a routine that leaves you busier with things you want to do than things you feel you have to do. 2. Learn to control your focus perhaps through meditation. Realize  you don’t have to stay focused on a problem in yourlife or a pain in your body. You can redirect your

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The Mind-Body Connection: Physical Symptoms Can Be Clues to Hidden Feelings

Often, it’s hard to tune in to how you feel about someone or something. One of the very best ways to do it is to understand your mind-body connection and heed Shakira’s advice to “Read the signs of your body.” Physical Symptoms Physical symptoms, like breaking out into a sweat, feeling your heart pound, or feeling a knot in your stomach, often accompany strong emotions like anxiety, anger, or depression. But sometimes they can be signs that you are having these emotions without being aware of them. Occasionally these symptoms can be a sign of disease, so be on the safe side and have your primary medical doctor rule out medical causes for any scary new sensations. Incidentally, body postures like slumping, or

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Self-Talk and Improved Mood

When you take responsibility for feelings rather than blame people or circumstances beyond your control, you seize the power to change and grow and make your life better. What you say to yourself about a situation often has more impact on your mood than anything else. So if you can become more aware of your self-talk and replace your bad habits with good ones, then you can have a powerful effect on how you feel each and every day. Improving your self-talk is especially good for people who frequently feel anxious, depressed, angry, or bad about themselves. You can do this by keeping a log of your most troubling reactions and reviewing it with your therapist. Be sure to note the

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The Good News about Personal Responsibility

Don’t you just hate having to take responsibility for things? Isn’t it so much easier to blame the person you’re with or chalk it up to circumstances beyond your control? As I like to say: If something happens once, it’s because of that other jerk. If it happens twice, it’s really bad luck. And if it happens three times, it’s you. Let’s say a fight flares up between you and your boyfriend or girlfriend. Don’t you hate having to admit you were wrong or that you, at least, contributed to the problem? It can make you feel bad about yourself or put the onus on you to apologize and behave better in the future. Who needs it? It’s better to

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How to Build Self-Esteem

To have self-esteem means to think well of yourself, based on a kind but realistic assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. Feeling good about yourself can make you feel happier, more worthy of good things, and more secure in the face of setbacks.If you’ve never had great self-esteem or your self-esteem has been hurt by recent criticism, rejection, or failure, then here are five ways to build/rebuild it. 1) Assess and Appreciate Yourself  a) Take inventory of your strengths and weaknesses. Start with four strengths and one weakness. You may have trouble seeing your strengths, so be prepared to ask a friend, family member, or therapist for help. Many of us have been raised to be modest. We may discount our

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Our Habits: What Is Too Much of a Good Thing?

When it comes to our habits, What is too much of a good thing? How do you know when you drink too much? And for that matter, how do you know when you smoke pot, watch porn, shop, or use social media too much? If you have a guilty pleasure (or complicated way of coping) is it something to minimize and avoid or something to enjoy without fretting? The answer lies in a complete, honest assessment of the good and bad things that come with your habit. Yes, drinking wine, gambling, and binge-watching bring us good things. Unless we’re complete Puritans, we all must admit that relaxation, excitement, confidence, and escape are good things. What does your habit do for you? Does it enhance your social life,

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Recommended Self-Help Books and Sites

I encourage the people to learn as much as possible about their mental health and the particular issues on their plate. Often you can get a lot more out of psychotherapy when you’re willing to work on your issues in between sessions as well as during your sessions. That way, you continue to be the motivating force for change in your life and set the pace for your own personal growth. The following are self-help books and Websites that my patients and I have found helpful in facing a variety of different challenges: Couples’ Conflicts: The Dialog of Intimacy by the American Association of Couples and Sex Therapists Conflicts at Work: Harvard Business Review Guide to Dealing with Conflict by Amy Gallo Career Change: What Color is

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Couples Handling Conflict

Every couple has conflicts, those topics that seem to turn you into instant adversaries. And whenever anyone brings one of them up, someone’s feelings end up getting hurt. Well, today’s post is for couples handling just such conflicts. Here is how to get started.   Don’t bring up complicated topics, like her spending or his mom coming to stay with you, when your spouse is tired or busy. Let them know you want to bring up something with them and agree on an appropriate place and time. Make sure you both know the ground rules, like no name-calling, yelling, personal attacks, or any kind of uncontrolled anger. If someone breaks these rules, either spouse can call a time-out and come back to the

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How to Fight Depression

When we feel sad or blue about something, we say that we’re depressed. But when we’re depressed and drained of all drive to do anything about it, then we have depression. Depression is a medical condition that affects over 20% of people at one point or another in their lifetime. The odds are that sometime in the future you or someone close to you will encounter depression. So it’s important to know what to do. We’re very fortunate these days to have medications that deal well with depression, but they don’t do the whole job. And if you follow my advice on how to fight depression, you may not even need them. Fighting depression might seem impossible to someone who is depressed.

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Coping Strategies as Psychological Defenses

When we get hit with a piece of bad news, it can stress us out and make us feel anxious, sad, angry, or ashamed, sometimes in ways that we’re not even aware of.  Some of these feelings can be outright overwhelming or unacceptable. Whoa! Imagine you’re a wealthy woman who discovers her husband married her for her money or a high school football star slowly realizing he may be gay. Yikes, that’s why we use defenses. Defense is another name for coping strategy, especially one that we use automatically, without thinking about it at all. Immature (or childlike) defenses numb the pain by keeping us oblivious to our uncomfortable feelings and often involve denial, rewriting, and acting out. People can deny

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Tips for Better Sleep

If you suffer from insomnia, don’t just reach for a pill. Try these tips for better sleep. Minimize noise, light, and excessive temperatures when you’re sleeping. Try using an eye mask, earplugs, white noise maker, air filter or air conditioning. Consider using a weighted blanket. They have been shown to be especially helpful for anxious sleepers. Establish a regular bedtime and wake-up time that offers 7-8 hours of sleep. Getting too little sleep during the week and catching up on the weekend can disrupt your body’s natural rhythms. Put yourself to sleep. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine like you would with a child. Read or watch a bedtime story, rather than talking, typing, playing a video game, or being physically active.

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Inner Compass: Tuning In To Your Feelings

As we learned in my last post Inner Compass: Your Feelings Point the Way, emotions can help us make choices by giving us a vital compass that tells us where to go and who to get involved with. If we follow the directions of our inner compass, then we can make choices that feel authentic, enthusiastic, and sustainable. But being guided by your feelings isn’t as easy as it sounds. First of all, we can’t choose our feelings. And secondly, those feelings often turn out to be childlike, animal-or at least mammal-istic. Because of that, I often refer to a person’s deepest feelings as their Inner Child. Some people have trouble tuning into their inner feelings and some don’t. For most

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Inner Compass: Your Feelings Point the Way

Emotions can help us make choices by giving us a vital compass that tells us where to go and who to get involved with. If we follow the directions of our inner compass, then we can make choices that feel authentic, enthusiastic, and sustainable. Imagine the difference between a life full of “I’m doing this because I want to” vs. “I’m doing this because I should.” But being guided by your feelings isn’t as easy as it sounds. First of all, we can’t choose our feelings. Sorry, folks, it’s terrifying but true: We have to play the hand we’re dealt. Try as you might, you can’t choose to like women instead of men. You can’t choose to be excited by

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Inner Compass: Emotions

Emotions are feelings that represent an instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances or relationships with others. Stress, or pain, is a signal that something is wrong, and it comes in many unpleasant but helpful flavors. Pleasure is a signal that something is right, and it also comes in many flavors. These flavors are all the various emotions we human beings experience. They help us make choices and give us a vital compass that tells us where to go and who to spend time with. Emotions aren’t always obvious, and sometimes we can feel two or three at the same time. So whenever anything big happens in your life, it’s good to ask yourself, “How am I feeling about this?” The

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Drinks, Drugs, Complicated Coping Strategies

In contrast to my post about Ten Great Coping Strategies, today I’d like to talk about a glass of wine and other coping strategies that can be very comforting and useful in moderation but can cause whole new problems in excess. Remember there are two fundamentally different ways to deal with stress in our lives: 1) direct strategies that help us master the problem at hand 2) indirect strategies that help us stay emotionally balanced in the meantime. In my last post, I suggested ten of these indirect coping strategies for folks to explore. Today I’ll discuss some others, ones that you may have even stumbled upon yourself, but these come with a caution. Pursuing them to excess can lead

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Ten Great Coping Strategies

Today I’d like to talk about the range of things that people do to cope with stress, and specifically those tough realities that just aren’t going to go away no matter how hard we try. Let’s look at the many ways people seek “the serenity to accept what they cannot change,” and maybe you’ll get some ideas that might work for you. The next time forces in your life swirl out of control and make you anxious, sad, or angry, you may want to consider one of these ten strategies. Take a Time Out: Excuse yourself from whoever or whatever is upsetting you and take some time to catch your breath, identify your feelings, change your focus, regroup and take

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Adam Cotsen, M.D.

Psychotherapist / Psychiatrist
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